Meh. More hats.

On the plus side, we had an entire speech bubble in the comic. That makes a change. It also brings our total number of sentences in a comic up to 4. Not including that *kaf*.

This is literally my fourth attempt at writing this blog post. It is. And all I was planning on doing was comparing pans, hams, skulls, staffs and signs. You know, those four default melee reskins? Yeah, those.

But since I am lazy, I don't really want to. Why? Because why use the Bonesaw or the reskins, when you can get Uber on hit, store Uber on death, heal people when you taunt or see enemy health? Personally, the last one is my favourite.

Never mind.

The Conscientious Objector is a nice way to protest if you get enough people doing it. My sign has the emblem for the Medic Militia on it. The very annoying thing is that you have to fiddle with things to make sure that it comes up in colour and not in black and white or a damned awful gradient. 4/10, because of all the fiddling around, getting a sign (considered a rare drop) and then buying a decal tool... Gah...

Freedom Staff. Now, I liked this one at first, but it's oh so Soldier-y. The model is a bit bland as well. A stick with a gold eagle on it. That's pretty much it. It's great for the minority of Soldiers who don't use the Escape Plan or Disciplinary Action or the Market Gardener or the Pain Train or... 5/10. The model lacks, but if you like genuine stuff...

You can tell I'm sleepy, because I keep on forgetting the Bat Outta Hell. Except it's not a bat of any kind. It's a skull and some spine. But hey, it's great for Halloween costumes (which we didn't actually GET last year) and it has jiggle bones. The colour for the Haunted quality is horrible though. 5/10. Jiggle bones save it.

Now, the Ham Shank is a nice weapon. Jiggle-boned and amusing to hit people with. Haven't used it myself, but being killed by ham really ought to scream HAM KILL. 8/10 because I don't have one yet.

Last one, the Frying Pan. The ultimate weapon designed to piss people off. It's loud, it's obnoxious and it's embarrassing if you get killed by one. Bonus points if it's used by a Scout. Double points if your entire team uses it. 9/10, purely because Engineers and Spies can't use it.

Okay, I'm going to bed now.

Hai. I'm Arksi. From the other blog. Medic can't really write anything right now because he's drunk and on the floor, unconscious. And someone sat on the photocopier and wasted loads of paper making photocopies of hats. Phovos is rather angry about that.

The office is full of hats for some reason.

You've had the same nightmare Medics, haven't you? You've seen them. You must have seen them. Everyone's seen them, whether they've been fighting people of the opposite colour, fighting hordes of robots or fighting a single, over-powered boss with thousands of hit points.

The thing is, what can you do? I've been trying to work out how to deal with them and I've come up with several options:

1. Ignore them and go elsewhere. Great for you, you don't need to put up with a moronic fellow Medic. Bad for the guys you've left behind and the same moronic Medic. The guys you left behind now won't get proper heals and that Medic won't learn.

2. Scream at them. You feel better, but your team mates will start to dislike you. And that Medic will probably ignore you anyway.

3. Explain to the Medic what they are doing wrong and how they can improve. Good for the Medic, if they listen. Otherwise you're just wasting your time.

4. Continue playing. Everyone's happy. Apart from you.

The thing is, if someone refuses to listen, what can you do?

Well, thank you to everyone! I've been given so many cool Medic things lately. A Strange Crusader's Crossbow, a Surgeon's Stethoscope and Stalhelm, a Vaccinator, a Tour of Duty ticket... All sorts! That's really kind of you all. I love you so much.

Now, more positive stuff. The time I have spent as a Medic is now almost 6 times more than the time I have spent as any other class. And finally, I feel that, maybe, I might be a good Medic. As in, like, possibly good, not "giant ego" good.

Random fact: The word ego comes from the word εγώ (pronounced eh-GOH), meaning I.

So, just for fun, I'm going to tell you about this office.

To be clear, to get to this office, I need to take a special teleporter that Engineer, Arkay and myself built a while back. The office isn't actually in the same time I live in. I live in some unknown time in the 1960's and 1970's. The office is in 2013.

In the office, there isn't much. It's basically an open room with a kitchen and a little room full of snacks and a sink for washing up. There are two sofas and a television screen, and a table around which we all work. I have a very nice 'laptop' computer which Phovos lets me use to connect to the 'Internet' and write my blog posts. I have to take my gloves off though because these buttons are quite small. With this laptop and Internet, I can also look things up, like this thing called SPUF, which I very much enjoy.

Other people come into the office too. Phovos in particular, since the office is in her house. She has this interesting watch that lets her disguise as a human, and it's a tad more complicated than a Spy's disguise device.

Normally, I see Arkay around here. He's bright yellow and black, like a road sign. You can spot him a mile away. He has his own laptop and he writes all sorts of stuff. Although, I haven't seen him in ages. Phovos says that he disappeared and no one knows where he went. One of the other guys, called Tanok or Tinuk or Tenuk or something like that, disappeared as well. But this new guy, called Arksi, pops in to write Arkay's blog and ask to see if we've seen Arkay. Which none of us have.

And there's a few other guys. One of them is a dragon. He knocks on the window asking for coffee occasionally. Phovos generally just makes a bowl full of coffee and pours it down the dragon's thorat. Eddy is another guy. He looks like an Enderman from that Minecraft game that's installed on this computer. He's nice. Likes telling stories.

Apart from that, there's not much else to say.

Oh, and what a great birthday it's been. Feminine problems, grumpy parents, missing siblings, late presents and a shit-ton of spambots.

So comments now have to be approved by me before they appear. If I'm hit by a spammer again, I'll be disabling comments.

No, I do not want your shitty shoes.

In a final note, thanks for all the Medic-related presents!

Just thought I'd mention a personal thing or two. I know no one really reads this, but the few people who do might know that I've been very worried as of late.

I live in Cyprus. Yeah, that little country in the European Union that requested a bailout and got fucked over. Yes, we'll probably have a bit of a rough ride.

But let's not be worried. I'm fine. I'll continue to write this stuff for my fellow Medics to either point and laugh at or nod their heads sagely or whatever. I'll be writing this stuff forever. Or until TF2 dies. Or whatever.

Anyway, the point is, I'm positive, Cyprus is positive, everyone should be positive. So, I ask of you, fellow Medics, to be positive too.

GO POSITIVE!

Yay.

Listen up. I know you're being all good and all that, playing Medic. I understand how Medics are thrown to one side in the mess that is Mann Vs Machine. I know how things are hard.

But please, PLEASE listen to what I'm about to say. It will garner you so much more respect while fighting the robot hordes.

USE THE KRITZKRIEG.

Please! You'd get so much more done! I know that you like micromanaging with the Vaccinator. I understand wanting to derp around with the Quick Fix. I know full well that Stock is amazing against humans. But against robots, you NEED the Kritzkrieg.

I fall to my knees and beg to you. Please, use the Kritzkrieg. Listen to my message.

I used to dislike Freak Fortress. The job of fighting a singular, all-powerful being who can kill you with one punch. A bit like Versus Saxton Hale, but with less clones of Saxton Hale and more random freaks taken from what you all call 'internet memes or fads'.

I used to dislike it a lot. Because when I first started fighting these monsters, the ones available to fight were either very overpowered or stupidly weak. Especially the poorly named Seeldier and Seeman. Or whatever they were called. One monster with a scaling amount of health was fine. But two with the same amount as a single monster? That's silly. Not to mention their ability to summon deceased players to help them. But lately, as I get back into this, I haven't seen those two monsters in ages.

Now, having found a good location to fight, where the freaks available are both varied and fairly balanced (and, more importantly, the other mercenaries are friendlier), I've changed my mind. Fighting a giant 'Pokemon' or a 'Dalek' is quite amusing. And if you're lucky, you'll get to fight the old classics like the Saxton Hale clone.

But the problem is that we're still teetering on some bosses being more powerful than others. Others run at the speed of a Medic by default, others are given range weapons, which spoils the entire point of Freak Fortress. And there is too much choice. At least, with Saxton Hale, the Headless Horseless Horseman and Vagineer, you knew what was coming for you.

Also, there are not enough Medic-based freaks. I've only seen two so far.